Why I HATE surgery

So, in many of my conversations with pretty much anyone, especially fellow medical students or other people in the medical field, a question invariably comes up in conversation: "So what kind of medicine do you want to go into?" A innocent enough question, but it's also very loaded and you must be carefully answered. If you tell someone that you might potentially have a tiny bit of interest in a particular field (ex. pediatrics, psychiatry, etc.), that person will forever assume that you are SET on going into that profession. Since I don't really know what I want to do with my life, I usually answer the question honestly and say, "I'm not sure, but I am ruling some things out." I should learn to stop giving that response, because the next question that I'll ALWAYS get is, "Like what?". To which I must answer "Surgery."
Now, to any surgeons out there or any people that think about going into surgery, I apologize in advance. I recognize that surgery is an amazing field where a whole lot of good can be done for people that are in need. With modern technology we are able to do surgeries and cure diseases that we never would have dreamed possible in the past. That being said, I want to come out and say that I absolutely HATE surgery! My 3 months on my surgery rotation were the 3 worst months of my entire life (no exaggeration). The day I found out that I passed my surgery shelf exam and that I wouldn't have to repeat that rotation was the happiest day of my life (maybe a little exaggeration). People always seem very shocked by this and ask me why I hate surgery. As if it needed any explanation. But since I'm the only person in the world that seems to realize how terrible surgery is, I've made a list of reasons why I personally hate surgery and would never want to do it:
1-Work hours: "What is a personal life?" Almost all the surgeons I met were WAY overworked. Some of them practically lived in the hospital. You've always got to be on call and come in to do emergency surgeries if your patients decompensate. I'd personally like to spend time with my family once in a while. Oh, and I really don't like showing up at the hospital before 5 in the morning.
2-Surgeons are jerks. Ok, ok, that's a little harsh, let's change it and say, "Surgeons are high-strung and often very blunt." (Is that a little more PC?) Now this doesn't apply to all surgeons, but a LOT of surgeons and surgery residents are not the most pleasant people to be around. If you get in their way or don't do everything they tell you to do, and do it FAST... well you better watch out. And it's not just the surgeons themselves, but all the people in the O.R. are always very stressed. I'd rather not be around these types of people.
3-Surgeons aren't happy. Once again, not true for everyone, but lots of the surgeons and residents I knew seemed to be hating life. Didn't they go into surgery in order to do something they liked? What went wrong? Maybe it has to do with numbers 1 & 2 above.
4-Standing up for hours at a time. The worst thing in the world is when you scrub into a 6 hr surgery, and you have to stand there the whole time holding a stupid retractor. Not conducive to happy bladders, stomachs, or feet.
5-Sterile field. When you scrub into a surgery, staying sterile is vital, otherwise the patient could get a serious infection. I realize this and totally agree with this. But when your scrubbed into a case and you accidentally bump something outside the sterile field and the scrub nurse starts yelling at you, it is not a happy place to be (not that I've ever been there before.)
6-The diseases you deal with. When you pick a medical specialty, you better know what kind of diseases you're going to be dealing with, because that's what you're going to be looking at every day for the rest of your life. During my general surgery month I saw enough inguinal hernias and gallbladders to last a lifetime. Please, just let me get away from the anuses please. (Note, some surgical specialties can be pretty cool, like ophthalmology, but unfortunately they are still surgery.)
7-Can you say tedious? Six hour surgeries are six hours for a purpose, all the cleaning up, placing clamps, very carefully dissecting out things, suctioning, carefully dissecting some more, suctioning again, placing more clamps, suctioning again, looking at it for a while, suctioning again, cutting a tiny bit more, suctioning... Get the idea? In some surgeries I was so bored I almost fell asleep while scrubbed in (don't worry, I didn't).
8-Patient interaction, what's that? One of the greatest things about medicine in general is that you get to develop relationship with the patients and really get to know them and help them in their lives. The surgeon's general interview goes something like this, "I'm Dr. So-and-so. What seems to be the problem? Great, we'll schedule a surgery date for you. See you then." O.k., o.k., that's not entirely true. They usually don't even take the time to introduce themselves at the beginning or say goodbye at the end. I want to do something where I can actually interact with the patient while they're awake.
9-Anatomy 101. I'll come out and say it, I never really did like anatomy. It was definitely not my favorite part of the pre-clinical years, and I never really cared enough to learn it very well. When you're in the O.R. and cutting someone open, it usually looks like a big mess to me. I realize that this is the exact reason why some people DO want to go into surgery, but for me anatomy is a definite turn-off. (Don't worry, I'm really not as bad at anatomy as I make it sound. You don't have to worry that I won't be a competent doctor some day.)
10-Hands on. I am not a hands on type of person. I know lots of other people are, but I am not. I don't really care about doing procedures. I'd rather sit back and think about patient instead of sticking my hands into his insides. When I'm in the O.R. I'm always afraid I'm going to mess up and somehow kill that patient. Who would want to deal with that kind of stress for the rest of their lives?
11-Scrubs. Not the T.V. show, the apparel. I'll admit that scrubs are pretty comfy, and many people love to wear them all the time, but scrubs drive me nuts. There aren't enough pockets on the dang things! Where am I supposed to keep my pen, and my wallet, and my pharmacy book, and my patient sheets, and my car keys, etc. Plus, when I wear scrubs it feels like I'm just walking around in pajamas. I'd rather feel like I actually get dressed before I go to work.
12-Did I mention that surgeons are full of themselves? (Once again, I apologize to any current or future surgeons reading this. You are probably the exception to the rule, otherwise why on earth would you be reading this blog?)
O.k., I think that's enough reasons for now. I'm sure I could come up with some more if you gave me the time. Suffice it to say that Rob Blake will NEVER EVER be a surgeon.
p.s. I hope if I ever need surgery that my surgeon will not have read this blog.